I am a graduate student in a US University, pursuing PhD studies in low-energy/atomic physics. I am in my mid-thirties. Born in a remote eastern hilly region of Nepal, I spent segments of my life in the eastern hills and then in Kathmandu before I came to the United States three years ago. I live in the east coast of the USA with my family.
Let me go back to the remote past of my life.
I was born as the second child to a middle-class farmer family. My dad and mom were farmers. They used to work hard in the fields.Though we were farmers, we had someone to till the land because, being Brahmins , the so-called high class family on the basis of the caste-system in the Hindu religion, we were not allowed to till the land ourselves. If some Brahmin boy tilled the land, he was humiliated by the society.Sometimes the situation used to become so worse that he was looked to be degraded from his caste. Anyways, the owning of a tiller had made their lives easier. When I grew up, I tried to be reolutionary in the sense that I used to go with the tiller and till the land at times when my parents were away and nobody else could see me driving the yoke with the tilling device(HALO). Sometimes my dad used to suspect me whether I might do something wrong like tilling the land ! This was how I grew up in a famland ! (August 11, 2007)
PART-2: My childhood
My childhood passed with ups and downs, largely with much difficulty due to the absence of maternal love and care though my dad tried every way to shower an excellent parental care. The painful childhood started when my mom left this world for ever in her early age. I was about 5 years old by that time and my younger sister and brother were about 3 years and 8 months old respectively. My elder brother was eight years old . The Shrawan of early thirties of B.S.( Bikram Sambat) left a family of a young person (my dad was about 34 years old at that time), a grandma (my dad's mom) and we four little kids in an agony ! For the first time in such an early childhood, I came to know something about 'DEATH'. My mom was motionless covered by a plain sheet of white cloth lying on the floor and my dad and the neighbors were all around her. Some of them told me some very hard heart-piercing words of the kinds - My mom was dead and she was going to be cremated. This was the beginning of a new and entirely different kind of days in my childhood ! (August 12, 2007)
PART-3: Routine of my Childhood
As I lost our mom in my early childhood, me and my elder brother had to do a lot of chores. A typical day started on or before the sunrise. Basically we were to support the unbearable load of my dad and grandma, a patient of some respiratory problems. My grandma had also borne a load of the same kind as my father did to bring up my dad and his only brother and several sisters because of an untimely demise of my grandfather. So she had to bear a similar kind of pain again to bring up the four grandchildren, deprived of mom's love. I helped grandma to take care of the two kids younger than me. I used to go to the fields and jungles with dad to collect grass and firewood. In the afternoon, I used to go to school with my elder brother. My dad was really great to send all of us to school doing most of the work at daytime by himself or taking some help of neighbors or other villagers. He was not much educated but he used to tell us that you can become 'BIG PERSONS' only when you study hard. I used to get hits and beats from him at times when I was lazy and reluctant to study. He used to tell us, ' It was your mom's dream to see all of you be great but unfortunately she is not here any more. You can make her dreams true only if you study hard.' His regular push of that time made all of the kids to get high degrees except my sister. There was a tendency not to send the girls to schools but my dad was of different opinion and he sent my sister to a primary school. But she could not continue beyond her primary education because of inaccessibility of any close by high schools. The people around also ridiculed my dad for sending my sister to school ! But now the thing has changed and even the girls there have got good education. Thus, the routine of my pre-high school days was to take care of the kids, feed the animals tamed for our service , go to school, clean the utensils, fetch water from the tap or wells, help the neighbors in their farms (during weekends and school holidays) to get help form them and sleep after finishing the homework for tomorrow ! It was really difficult for me to sit with my dad to grind corn using grinding device (JANTO) and to unhusk dried paddy using a DHIKI. I had cried several times from getting a painful time in running these heavy machines with childish immature muscles !
I wish no kids will do such a physical labor in the World ! (August 13, 2007)
PART-4: A bitter experience of cattle grazing
As I already said that my primary works at home during my childhood were to help my dad and grandma at home and farms and to study the school courses. In addition to the school courses, I had to read, memorize and recite the stanzas and paragraphs of CHANDI, a Hindu holy book praising the superpower of the Hindu goddess Durga.
I remember one really bitter experience of my careless moment of that time.We were in
our school holidays and me and my elder brother were assigned to graze cattle in the fields nearby our house. The fields were uncultivated as it was early Jestha. We took our cattle to the fields and left there. There were some cows, goats and buffaloes and the day had a very hot sunshine. In the terraced fields, there were some nurseries to grow the paddy seedlings. One of our buffalo was already very close to one of our neighbors' nursery and it was too late to control it away from the plot. We tried to control it but we were helpless; the animal jumped into the nursery and ran across it.The animal really enjoyed the water on that super-hot noon but it was really a horrible situation for us !
At evening, my neighbor came and complained about it. My dad was so mad to hear his complain that he thrashed us with a bamboo twig. I got more than my brother because I was stouter physically! I thought that it was sometimes advantageous to be physically weak ! In fact, this idea struck me several times during my childhood as I was stouter and stronger than others in my family and I used to get punishment most of the times. Anyways, those punishments led me towards my better future rather than towards depressions !
PART-5: A bitter experience of Primary School
I went to a primary school in my village. It was 15 minutes walk to the school from my house. I was really a smart kid in the class. At that time, the government administered schools used to teach English only from Grade-IV, but I knew all the English alphabets before I joined to the school in Grade-I. I also knew some English words from "THULO VARNAMALA" , the first book for most of the kids in NEPAL.
I am going to write an experience of a Science class when I was in Grade-III. The day was going well as usual. In the morning (before tiffin), there was a science period. We had a science teacher who had passed SLC several years before and had a good experience in teaching and good reputation in the village. It was partially because of his father too who was renowned for the social service in that place. My dad used to tell us that the Congress Party Movement was really violent in the Eastern Hills in 2007(B.S.). People used to do anything they liked in the name of the Congress. Such a violent Congress was not allowed to enter our village by his (the father of my science teacher) effort. Anyways, my science teacher was nice, stout and handsome and had a knowledge of science good enough to teach the primary level. He had given homework to us. It was something reading and memorizing from the book. I couldn't finish my homework on that day. The teacher came to the class and asked to present the homework. I had not done it and I was really scared. I couldn't tell him why I didn't do the homework because he looked so giant in front of me and also because of our culture that we have to respect our teacher and follow what the teacher says and does. He became too mad on me and some other friends to stand calmly there any more. He told our monitor to bring a bamboo twig and and beat us on the palms of both hands. It was so painful that the little soft palms were full of swellings and rashes. Oh my god, it was really unbearable, I cried and cried but that didn't help me any more! He bit further and finally said, " You will not forget your homework from tomorrow." This was the first and last time in my life that I got such a corporal punishment from a teacher. In fact, this event and almost all of this kind for doing homework by memorizing the study materials sowed the seed of memorizing attitude which has been really striking me in my current days. My PhD adviser here always says that " Memorizing the stuffs without understanding is more harmful than useful."
Anyways, my science teacher's punishment in my primary school might have directed me to go to the field of science unknowingly. Whatever way I did, I reached here in the field of Physics but there is much more to do to go ahead ! (August 14, 2007)
PART-6: An experience of being stouter and stronger in my family
Among the four kids in my family, I was the strongest one. My elder brother was lean and thin and so he was not given any hard work. When some hard work like lifting, carrying and working on the fields was to be done, my dad and grandma used to say, " La Maila, ta yo kam gar , jetho alik kamjor chha, garna sakdaina, kanchho ra Kanchhi sanai chhan" ( Translation - "Hey the second son, you do this work, the first son is a little bit weak , he can't do this work and the youngest son and daughter are too small to do this work.") . When some hard work had to be done, I usually heard this repetition. My dad's words like, " Mailo khana pani sakchha, garna pani garchha !" (Translation-" The second son can eat and work as well.") sometimes inspired me to do the works assigned.
As we had to work in relatively big farms and we had no good strength in our family, we had to take help of our neighbors in the condition that we pay back a help ("PARMA") in their farms. In such situation, the neighbors used to say, " Mero mela ma Maila lai nai pathaideu hai "(Translation -" Please send the second son to work in my farm and not others"). In this way, my good physique in my family helped me be popular in our neighborhood to payback the "PARMA" (Help for Help) ! I remember the comment made by one of my neighbor with my dad, " Dai, Maila ko chai chinta linu pardaina, khet khanera bhaye pani swasni palchha bhawisye ma !"(Translation - "Brother, don't worry about your second son, he can feed and take care of his wife in future by working on the field.").
I worked in our farms until I graduated from high school. Then I left for my college study far from home. I haven't returned to the work in my farms again.
Anyways, I think my sound physique helped me be popular in my neighborhood till I was around there!
PART-7: My childhood in our remote farmland
We own a farm on a basin of a stream which is about 20 minutes walk from our house so it is a little remote to us. We can grow paddy there twice a year. It is a really nice plot of land, very close to the source of water, a kind of golden plot. But the problem is that during the rainy season, it is difficult to reach the place because of the swollen stream and without any bridge over it.
My childhood was in deep touch with this land. I used to go there to tend the plot, to water the plants and to take care of the budding paddy plants from the monkeys. Sometimes a flock of monkeys came and nipped the buds massively, destroying the crop of the whole plot. Thus the hard days would start right from the preparation of the nurseries during the month of Magh or Falgun until the crops were harvested and brought to the house. Mostly I with my dad had to go to watch the cultivated plot so that the crops grew safely with enough water and fertilizer. While returning home, we had to collect firewood or the grass to feed the cattle. The life used to be very hard after transplanting the seedlings which needed to be regularly watered. Particularly in dry seasons, there would not be sufficient water in the stream and it was very difficult to supply enough water to the plants.
It would be further hectic during the harvest time. We had to take help of several people for cutting and threshing the ripe and dried paddy and carry the sacks on our back to our house. We used to thresh the paddy seeds from the plants on a big flat rock on the side of the stream. Sometimes the swollen stream from a heavy rainfall overflowed the rock and claimed the paddy that was ready to be housed. We used the straw for feeding the cattle and for roofing. I remember the moments of carrying the bundles of straw up along a street soaring up rapidly to our house. An exhausted body due to the hard work of the day was now squeezed with the load of paddy sacks or straw packs! What a hard life I lived that time and the situation is still the same with my dad and other members there! Sometimes I cursed my birth-place but that was of no help! The nice thing is that the evening meal after a heavy work of the day was so sweet that there is nothing sweeter than that meal in the world and the sleep of the night after an exhaustive work of the day was so gorgeous and heavenly that there can not be any nicer sleep than that sleep. Those meals and sleeps were much-much-much better than the meals and the sleeps of the Semesters with Home Assignments of Quantum and Statistical Mechanics during my PhD coursework.
God! Those were the days of the balance of the physical and mental work but now
are the days of more mental pressure than a physical fatigue!
PART-8: My high school life
After completing my primary and lower secondary education from a school in my village, I went to a high school close to the our district headquarter. The school was about three and half hours walk from my house. So it was not possible to go to school everyday. An uncle of our neighborhood and a friend from the next village took a room at a place which was about half an hour walk from the school. It was a completely new experience to go to high school as I was away from home for the first time. There were about 60 to 70 students in my class. I was hard-working and no one in my class could beat me to memorize and present the lessons. In the final exam of grade-VIII, I secured the second position in the class. I couldn't beat the person who stood the first. The class topper was really smart.I also couldnot make it because I was in bed for about a month because of some sickness just before the final exam. When I went to grade-IX, people started to see me differently. They might have thought that I was smart and even could beat the class topper who had made history in the school, never being the second. There were beautiful girls in my class from the Newar community and they used to come to me to ask questions about homework. But I felt shy to talk to them. In response, they talked each other about me in their language. Their gossiping made me feel nervous. Anyway, my hard work was ultimately paid when I stood the FIRST in the DISTRICT WISE SEND-UP EXAM. Oh man, people who knew me lauded my achievement. Not only this, I beat all the SLC candidates of the district in the SLC EXAM too.
Anyways, this was the first visible reward to my hard work and my dad's and grandma's devotion towards the MOM-LESS kids ! (August 18, 2007)
PART-9: The transition period from my school to college life
As soon as I finished my SLC exam, I came back to home and waited for the SLC result for about 3/4 months. Friends who were strong financially were making plans of their further studies in that period but I was helping my family at home and farms. My regular chores were as usual like - go to the jungle, collect grass for cattle, graze the cows and buffaloes , feed them in the evening, milk the cattle, eat the dinner and go to bed. I passed the SLC exam securing a good percentage. I was the topper in the district in the exam of that year. I went to school to see my teachers and to collect my mark-sheet. My teachers were very happy in my achievement. They congratulated me and asked my further plans. I had no plans because I had no money to join a college of my choice.My teachers suggested me to join science stream and pursue the higher studies in Science so that I could become a doctor or an engineer. Their suggestions pushed me to dream ambitiously. I started thinking to join a science college for my further studies. I went back to home and expressed my desire to my dad. He praised my desire but he was helpless because the study of science was costlier and I had to go really far from home for this. I insisted my dad to get some money for the admission in Dharan Campus, which was the closest science campus from our place. After a struggle for some days, he was able to collect Rs.2000 for me.I went to Dharan Campus taking this money. I filled out application form and waited for the day of name publication of the eligible candidates. My scores met the criteria for the admission and I was admitted in PHYSICAL GROUP in Dharan Campus, Hattisar. It was just the admission, the road ahead was hazy and cloudy in two ways. I had no regular source of money to pay for the fees and tuition in the college and it cost much to live in the city. This was a tough time financially. I had not studied science in Grades IX and X, as it was an optional subject there at that time and because of the shortage of science teacher in my school.This created a tough time academically !
This was a start of the next difficult time beyond my childhood !
PART-10: When there is a will, there is a way
I got admission in the science stream in one of the
reputed campuses of the country. I started looking for some financial help from
somewhere. Fortunately, I got a family who needed a teacher to teach their
four/five children of ages 4-10. In compensation, I would get a room to live in
and two meals a day. Wow, I was getting lodging and fooding for devoting some
of time to the kids! Wasn't it nice for someone like me in that difficult
situation! I started my teaching and study life for the first time. I was also
looking for some other kinds of financial help to pay for the books, college
fees and tuition. One of my friends had suggested me that his brother was
working in Science Development Project (it collapsed later) and so I might get
a scholarship to pursue my studies of Intermediate degree of Science from there
if I contacted his office. According to his suggestion, I wrote a letter to his
brother in Kathmandu mentioning my credentials and financial needs. After about
a month I got a letter from him that I was awarded that scholarship for two years. Thanks god! He
was really great. His recommendation helped me make my study easier. I now
decided to focus on my study and not to do any teaching. I shifted my apartment
close to the campus. A friend from my high school and I started staying
together sharing an apartment. I used to get Rs. 421 per month for my stipend.
The fee was just Rs 21 per month. The life was little better financially!
I would like to thank my friend who suggested the way to get that scholarship (Unfortunately
he died few years back untimely- May his SOUL reside in the HEAVEN!). I would
also like to thank his brother who helped on managing this stipend for me.
This reminds me, "When there is a will, there is a way." (August 20, 2007)PART-11: My Early College Life
I involved myself in literature too, away from science! I used to write especially poetry and sometimes drama or short stories. I was so much engrossed in reading and writing literature that I started giving less time in course studies and more time in writing poems, reciting them in different programs and sending them for publications. I was successful in publishing about half a dozen of poems in local magazines in one year but that made my study weaker. I used to write in traditional Sanskrit Chhanda. I stood third in a campus-wise competition. My Nepali teacher commented in the prize-giving ceremony that my poetry reminded him the Bhanubhakta Era.
Anyways, there were still ups and downs in
my campus studies but obviously of different kinds from my childhood ! (August 21, 2007)
PART-12: A dreadful night in my early college life
That was really a painful day after the dreadful night which claimed so many lives. Because of that dreadful event, our exams were postponed for some days. I then moved to the hostel of the campus and completed my rest of the studies of I.Sc. from there.
PART-13: Job hunting experience after completion of I.Sc.
That was really a painful day after the dreadful night which claimed so many lives. Because of that dreadful event, our exams were postponed for some days. I then moved to the hostel of the campus and completed my rest of the studies of I.Sc. from there.
PART-13: Job hunting experience after completion of I.Sc.
After the completion of my I.Sc. Studies, I started
looking for a job suitable for me. I started looking at the advertisements in
the newspapers for the job openings. There was a job opening for a teacher in a
lower secondary school in Itahari. I applied for that post. I had to teach
English if I were selected. On the interview day, the interviewers ask several
questions. I forgot most of them but I still remember one of the questions
asked to me: how to pronounce the word "ORANGE". I had heard an
advertisement in radio and TV like " CHISO CHISO FANTA ORANGE, MITHO MITHO
FANTA ORANGE." I said the way that the guy in that advert used to speak. As soon as I
answered the question, the interviewers bade me goodbye and suggested to wait
for the result. Later I came to know that I failed the interview. Then I went
to Biratnagar thinking that I would get a job there as that is one of the
biggest cities of Nepal. I went to see the principle of a school who was from
my neighboring village but migrated to Biratnagar long time back. One of my
friend, junior to me was working there as a teacher and studying in a law
campus. When I explained about myself and my purpose of coming to see him, he
told me that he had heard about me before. He told me, "Rudra Bhai, I know
your problem. I heard that you were really a hardworking person in school and also a good achiever. So the best place for you to work or study is Kathmandu.
So, go to Kathmandu and try to find a job there. You will definitely get a hard
time there initially but you will in better position later. So my strong advice
to you is to go to Kathmandu." Oh man, I had never thought about
Kathmandu. That gentleman inspired me to go to Kathmandu for hunting a job for me. I went back to
Dharan. There were still some friends staying back there even after finishing
their exams. One of my friends was from Dhading. His brothers used to live in
Kathmandu. I expressed my desire to go to Kathmandu with him. He became very
happy to hear this.
One day, we purchased tickets of a DAY BUS and left for Kathmandu early
morning. I knew that we were going to Kathmandu but my destination was really
uncertain and vague! (August 23, 2007)
PART-14: A naive swimmer plunging into the sea
We boarded on the day bus which headed to Kathmandu
early morning from Itahari. The plan to travel by day bus was of my friend. He
wanted to see the places and the scenes on the way to Kathmandu. Probably he
was enjoying the journey and I seemed to be doing so. But a question was always
hitting my mind that I am going to a place where there was no one to address me
"Hey Maila!" The city would be completely new for me. We reached
Narayangarh in the evening. My friend said that he had relatives there and so
we were going to spend the night there and we would move to Kathmandu the
following morning. We reached his relative house. It was Magh and it was time
of SWASTHANI BRATA KATHA. The ladies in the house were about to tell the story.
My friend told them that I was a good in reading such kind of stories. Then
they insisted me to read the story in that evening. When I finished the story,
they appreciated me for my way of reading. The next day we headed to Kathmandu by a bus. We reached Naradevi,
where his brothers were living. I was in the biggest city of Nepal, the capital
city of Nepal, Kathmandu. I thanked my friend for helping me visit Kathmandu.
He suggested me to look for a job there. Oh man, who would give me a job? Where
could I go to look for a job in that big city? Whom to contact? Where to stay
until I would get a job? So many answer-less questions were reeling in my mind.
Thinking about here and there, this and that, an idea struck my mind. I had
heard that one of my friends from high school was working in Bishwojyoti
Cinema. I told my friend whom I was living with about this. We went there to find
my high school's friend. By luck, I was able to find him. He was very happy to
see me there after several years. He took me to his residence at Baneshwor. He
was living with his mom, dad, brothers and sisters-some were job holders and
others were students. All of them were happy to see me at their home. They
suggested me to live with them and hunt for a job. It was an overwhelmingly
joyous moment for me. There was a tree trunk on my way to catch while I was being
swept away by a river current. It was a huge support to me. But the question of
finding a job was still there.
This reminded me, ' A friend in need is a true friend indeed." (August 24, 2007)
PART-15: A job hunting experience in Kathmandu
I started to live at Baneshwor adjusting with the family of my friends. They tried to search a job for me. They contacted wherever was their approach. I got a chance to teach a girl next to our apartment, preparing for the SLC. Along with her were other three kids of her uncle. I taught the four for a month. The guy who gave this job to me paid Rs.300. That was too low but I was happy because that was my first income of my toil in that new place. One of the neighbors, who was a teacher in a public school in Kathmandu, gave interest to find a job for me. Ultimately she managed a home tuition for me; I had to teach three kids of her relative. I would be paid Rs. 500 per month for that job. Great! One other friend of my friend's brother searched another home tuition for me in Old Baneshwor. I would be paid Rs. 700 per month for the four kids. That was the time which began my life of a teacher which is still going today but at a different place and environment!
I established myself as a home tutor. But how long could I go with that profession? I also tried to look for a job of a teacher in private and boarding schools. I used to see the "WANTED" in magazines and go to the schools. The first question the principal or the administrators used to ask me was: "Do you have any teaching experience before?". Oh my god, does a baby get birth getting a teaching or some kinds of job experiences? A baby is born and the first thing it knows is to cry. Beyond that is all gained by doing something in his/her environment.
Wherever I went to look for a job, I was just turned down because of the lack of my experience related to that work. This made me spend my two full years to be a home tutor. The nice thing was that I had gained a good name of "ALL ROUND TUITION TEACHER" at Baneshwor. By the end of two years in Kathmandu, I was teaching about nine groups of students. This was giving a good income to me. In fact, there were no places for the students who used to come late to join to tuition with me. (August 25, 2007)
PART-16: I got a job in a good private school
One evening, I was tutoring a group of students in my
room. There were 7/8 students in a group. My high school teacher who was in Kathmandu at that time came to
me and asked whether I could help him teach as a replacement teacher in a
school where he was working. The reason was that he was studying M.A. in
Economics in T.U. and his exam was approaching. I thought it could be a chance
for me to enter a school for a job. I nodded him agreeing that I would do that
job. The next day I went to school. I had to teach Mathematics in Grade-IX. I
met the principal. He could hardly believe me that I could teach in grade-IX as
I was too young to teach in that higher grade in his school. He asked me,
" Can you teach mathematics in Grade-IX where your teacher is
teaching." I promptly answered," Yes, I can." I had two years'
teaching experience as a home tutor. I was teaching the courses of grades IX
and X: not only mathematics but variety of subjects. I started teaching
mathematics in that school. The students were really impressed from my
teaching. Joining to the school also helped to grow the number of students in
my tuition groups. In a month, I established myself as a good teacher in the
eyes of those students. When their regular teacher came back to school, I
stopped going to school. One day, the school administrators called me and gave
me the salary of my work. It was about Rs 1800, a good money for me at that
time! The other good thing for me was that I was recommended for a teaching job
there. Great, I got a job in a very good school of Kathmandu where I worked
about 12 years before I left for my higher studies in a US university.
That reminds me, "Never give up a hope!"
PART-17: Some Experiences in my High School Teaching
I was appointed as a Science Laboratory teacher in the
school. There were a lot of stuffs in the store, purposed for the science lab
but packed in the sacks unopened. The laboratory equipment were spread all
over the top floor of a four-storied building. I organized the instruments and
I set-up a small nice laboratory. There was a big demonstration table in the
next room. When students were brought to the laboratory by
their teachers, I explained the objectives of the experiments and demonstrated
them. Everything was going smoothly. If there were no lab periods, I was
assigned to teach the classes of absent teachers. This was really difficult for
me because if an English teacher were absent, I needed to teach English in that
class according to the demand of the students. Anyway, I used to teach as
student demanded.
One day, an English teacher of grade eight was absent. I was assigned to teach
his class on that day. I went to the class. The students asked me to teach
English grammar. I had to teach the conversion of the sentences in active voice
into passive voice and vice versa. This was an easy job. I taught them that
lesson. They were happy. The next day, their English teacher went to their
class to teach that lesson. The students reported him that the lesson was
already taught by a substitute teacher, which was me. When he came back to
office, he became really mad at me. He fired these words at me, "Sir, why did
you interfere in other's subject? Teach whatever you have been assigned
for." He was so angry that he almost beat me. Next time, I had to teach "ANKHA KO GURANS RA HATKELAKO SUNGABHA " in a Nepali subject's class
because of the absence of Nepali teacher. I taught the class this topic and
gave homework. The next day, the Nepali teacher came and found that his lesson
was already taught. He came to me and said, "Sir, you are evergreen!"
Several teachers were angry of me because of my teaching in their classes in their absence but some were happy too. Once I was called to the Principal's office. The Principal suggested me to teach Science and Mathematics only, not other subjects even if I needed to go to those classes as a substitute teacher. I guessed that some teachers had complained to the principal about my activities.
Anyways those were the days of fun! (August 28, 2007)
PART-18: Some experiences in the Science labs
I was a demonstrator of science experiments in the
school. I had to do demonstrations to the students of different levels- ranging
from class-VI to class-X. So there were all kinds of experiments. Some were
very simple where as some others were precise and of higher quality. The
routine was tightly packed as there were several sections in each class and
there were several grades to be brought to the lab. The days were going well. One day, I had to demonstrate the reaction
between sodium and water to the six graders. The teacher brought his students
to the lab. There were about forty students standing around the demonstration
table. I cut a piece of sodium from the storage bottle using a knife and put
that on the top of the demonstration table. The teacher had already taught
about it in the class. I mean the students had knowledge about the reaction between
sodium and water. I asked them what would happen when I poured water on the
sodium piece. They responded correctly but probably they had no idea how loud
would the explosion be! I poured a little water on the sodium piece. It
exploded instantaneously with a loud bang burning a hole on the top of the
table. Unfortunately, one of the students became unconscious and she was about
to fall on the floor before somebody supported her and prevented from falling.
After sometime, she regained her consciousness. This bang was so loud that
other teachers from the ground floor climbed to the lab which was on the fourth
floor.
The next morning the principal of the school called me to his office and asked
me about the incident that took place on the lab the previous day. I knew that the
parents of the girl who fell unconscious had complained about the safety in the
lab!
Anyway, it was the first and last time that happened something bad in the
science lab during my teaching in that school! (August 29, 2007)
I joined to B.Sc. in Tri-Chandra College in
Statistics-Physics-Mathematics (SPM) Group. I used to go to the college in the
morning time. The college started at 7:00 A.M. I used to teach tuition from
5:30 - 6:30 A.M. in my room, then ate some breakfast and cycled to the campus. The college
classes were over at about 11:00 A.M. I used to go to school to teach from
there and after a full day of teaching, came back to home at about 4:30 P.M. The
evening tuition started from 5:00 P.M. and continued till 10:00 P.M. This was
how my routine was going. I was doing well in the campus as well as in
teaching. So my studies of B.Sc. was a kind of work-study as in a typical US
University. The difference was that I used to work at one place and studied at
a different place. I was busy in making money for bread and butter, tuition and
rent and for other needs.
My friends used to talk about girls and girl-friends. I had no time to think about girls, girl-friends or making love. There was a girl who was really smart in studies. But she was not so beautiful. Sometimes she used to talk to me about studies in the front side of the Tri-Chandra College. Some of my friends started teasing me saying, "Wow! You are talking to a CACTUS! It was really a bad comment on her beauty. After some days, she disappeared from the campus. Later I heard that she got an admission in Bachelor of Forestry programs in Pokahara and left the college.
I spent two years in Tri-Chandra College. I gathered some nice and other bitter experiences there. We boycotted a Mathematics class of a lecturer though he was a GOLD MEDALIST from T.U. He used to teach Real Analysis. He had a good knowledge but no confidence to present it in front of the students. When he came to classes, he explained the subject materials, not looking at the eyes and faces of the students but gazing towards RANIPOKHARI. We complained to the Department Head but it was just useless. We could not get a new teacher. Some other day, one of my friends commented to a teacher very badly who was teaching differential equations. He was solving a problem from his book. He could not reach the correct solution. The friend said, "Sir, did you come to the class drinking bear?". The teacher was so mad at us that he left the class and didn't come back for several days!
Anyways, I spent those two golden years of my college life making some new friends but without making any girlfriends! (August 30, 2007)
The Physics department had no girl students in that batch. So it was a kind of dry. The friends who enjoyed chatting with girls used to go to other departments, especially Botany as Botany department had a large number of girl students at that time. So life was again dry during the studies of Master's level too. No love-making, no girlfriends!
Life was going smoothly in teaching at schools,
college and at home in Kathmandu. In the meantime, I also got an opportunity to
coauthor two text books of physics for the higher secondary level. I also
coauthored a series of science books starting from GRADE-I to GRADE-X. I used
to write articles relate to science and environment in national daily, weekly
and monthly magazines. I had a good income from all of these activities. But I
felt somewhat uneasy when people in training or gatherings used to talk about
and value for the PhD holders: "Dr. X: he is good, he got his PhD from the
USA, and he will be a right person for our institution! Dr. Y is also good
because he did his PhD from Germany! Dr. Z did his PhD from Australia; he can
be hired for our programs, just for a banner." No count of people less than PhDs! That hurt me several times
in several places. I challenge that I had better knowledge in my field than
those PhDs but they used to get name and respect in what we non-doctors
performed! Once I told one administrator that if I could not go anywhere for my
higher studies, I would buy a PhD certificate from India (as people have done
so). I was holding a good position in an institute. In one program, one officer
of that institute addressed me as a Doctor right before my turn to speak. At
first, I clarified that I was not a doctor and then continued speaking on the
subject matter. Probably the officer was right that the post I was holding to
be held only by some kind of doctor. Anyway, the "DOCTOR" pinched me
several times in several places. That made me think about my further studies. A
palm reader had once told me that I could get the highest possible degree in my
life. Probably his saying could be correct!
What made me choose a US university? At that time there was a big flow of Nepalese Physicists to the US universities; it is still the same but the number has increased in other fields too. One day, I heard that my close friends were also about to fly to the USA for their PhD studies in Physics. This struck my mind that I could also try for that. Once that happened, my wife started pushing me to TOEFL, GRE, etc. Her words "Everybody can go, why you can't!" made me think to try for the higher studies in some US University. I purchased a computer, made a passport and took TOEFL. I applied in a couple of Universities. One university gave me admission but no stipend! After a couple of correspondences, the other university gave me graduate assistantship too! Great! But there was still one problem. That was a US visa. I was not sure that I would get a visa because several students were denied their visas at that time. I applied for a visa ns walked to the US embassy for interview. A lady who accepted my application in the embassy, obviously not a visa-issuing officer, asked me, "Why are you going to a US university, not elsewhere?" and my answer was," I have heard that the US universities are imparting the best education in the world". No sooner I finished my sentence than the lady watched my face and directed me towards waiting room. I was so excited to tell something more but I didn't get any chance. I waited for a long time before I got my turn. The person in front of me was just denied his visa. I was scared when the same consular officer called my name. He asked me some questions about my studies and financial conditions. I tried to answer his questions to my best level I could. Finally he said, "Congratulations! Have a nice trip to the USA!" He told me to collect my passport from the next window paying the fee for the visa. Great! That opened up a new journey of my life! That was July of 2004. (September 05, 2007)
My friends used to talk about girls and girl-friends. I had no time to think about girls, girl-friends or making love. There was a girl who was really smart in studies. But she was not so beautiful. Sometimes she used to talk to me about studies in the front side of the Tri-Chandra College. Some of my friends started teasing me saying, "Wow! You are talking to a CACTUS! It was really a bad comment on her beauty. After some days, she disappeared from the campus. Later I heard that she got an admission in Bachelor of Forestry programs in Pokahara and left the college.
I spent two years in Tri-Chandra College. I gathered some nice and other bitter experiences there. We boycotted a Mathematics class of a lecturer though he was a GOLD MEDALIST from T.U. He used to teach Real Analysis. He had a good knowledge but no confidence to present it in front of the students. When he came to classes, he explained the subject materials, not looking at the eyes and faces of the students but gazing towards RANIPOKHARI. We complained to the Department Head but it was just useless. We could not get a new teacher. Some other day, one of my friends commented to a teacher very badly who was teaching differential equations. He was solving a problem from his book. He could not reach the correct solution. The friend said, "Sir, did you come to the class drinking bear?". The teacher was so mad at us that he left the class and didn't come back for several days!
Anyways, I spent those two golden years of my college life making some new friends but without making any girlfriends! (August 30, 2007)
PART-20: Some experiences during my M.Sc. studies
As soon as I got my B.Sc. degree, I planned to join
M.Sc. in Physics in the Central Department of Physics, Kirtipur. The reasons to go to physics were: I had developed an
interest to study physics. I had also heard that one will get a job more easily
after passing M.Sc.: at least in high schools. Later, it became much better
when plus two programs were started. So I sat in the entrance exam organized by
the physics department, Kirtipur. I passed the exam. I got admission in Physics
in Kirtipur. I was proud of myself that I was the first person to study Master
of Physics not only from my family but from the whole village. Sometimes such
kind of pride leads people towards disaster. But, in my case, I tried to
balance everything and continued my studies of Physics. One of my friends was
so crazy to go to overseas for further studies after completion of M.Sc. He
used to talk a lot about his friends in America, Japan and Germany doing well
in Physics. Honestly, I had no idea about the studies in overseas. I had no
dreams too.
I left the school where I was working because it was really difficult to manage
time for my studies and teaching at school. I told the principal that I was
going to resign from the job. He asked the reason for that. He suggested me that
resignation was not necessary. I could come back to school at any time I liked
and wanted. Therefore, I left the school and started to be regular in classes
and labs in Kirtipur. But, I had to manage money for fees, rent and bread and
butter. I had my younger brother with me studying in a campus. I also had to
send some money to my dad in the village. So I continued teaching tuition and
left going to school completely. Sometimes I used to cycle to Kirtipur from
Baneshwor. It was terrible to do so because of pollution and diet.
Probably it was the reason of too much cycling and too much hard work that I
was caught by some allergic problems from which I was terribly suffered for
more than twelve years. Those problems were gone only when I landed in the USA
in 2004. Though my income was good during my M.Sc. studies too, it was really
hectic to manage my timings for the studies and teaching tuition. Because of my
situation and busy schedule, I came to be less sociable in the campus. I
reached the campus for the classes and lab works. As soon as they were over, I
left the campus for tuition or self-study. Therefore, I hardly participated any programs like excursions, student
politics, etc.
The Physics department had no girl students in that batch. So it was a kind of dry. The friends who enjoyed chatting with girls used to go to other departments, especially Botany as Botany department had a large number of girl students at that time. So life was again dry during the studies of Master's level too. No love-making, no girlfriends!
When I was about to start my M.Sc. studies, I was thinking to get married. Once
the owner of the house asked me whether I was interested to get married. I said
if I could find a girl suitable to me, I would do it. She talked to the parents
of a girl close to her house. But the parents replied that they were not
willing to give their daughter to a school master. That seriously struck me:
'Oh man! Then a school master would remain unmarried life-long'. Fortunately,
that didn't happen in my life and I haven't seen any other school masters left
unmarried, not getting girls for marriage! Later I found that those parents
gave her daughter to an overseer. Why I am writing this is that our mind is still traditional and we still
think that our daughters are well taken care of only when they are married to a
doctor or an engineer.
Anyway, I finished my M.Sc. studies well and got back to a job of Physics teacher
in the school when I used to work before. In the meantime, I got a girl and got
married too! We have a daughter of about six years now. We three people are
living at a place in the east coast of the USA now! (August 31, 2007)
PART-21: Some pros and cons in Teaching
After the completion of my M.Sc. studies in Physics,
I was a full-time teacher. After teaching a group of people at home as tuition,
I reached the school to teach Physics to the students of grades XI and XII.
Then, I taught students of high school along with some administrative jobs there. Then
I used to go to Tri-Chandra College as part-time teacher to teach Mechanics for
B.Sc. students and to teach some I.Sc. laboratories. In fact, I taught in ASCOL
before that for about 3/4 months but the department coordinator of morning
shift became so biased to me and two of my friends that we had to leave the
college ultimately. After finishing the classes in Tri-Chandra, I used to come
back home and teach tuition again till 9:00 P.M. This was how life was going
on. I really enjoyed teaching and I still do that. The respect to my teaching
from my students and the praise from their parents made me work hard. The
reward of my hard work gave me a satisfaction, good achievement to my students
like scoring highest positions in different exams and also money. But
sometimes, the comments of some students: “You are teaching us because we are
paying you for this” made me feel sad. The comments of the principal and
administrators, at times, used to be of the same kind: “You are paid because
students pay to us." But when I came to the USA and saw the culture of
this place, I found that my place back home is much nicer in terms of the
respects from students. (September 04, 2007)
PART-22: How and why I started to think for higher studies in
Physics?
What made me choose a US university? At that time there was a big flow of Nepalese Physicists to the US universities; it is still the same but the number has increased in other fields too. One day, I heard that my close friends were also about to fly to the USA for their PhD studies in Physics. This struck my mind that I could also try for that. Once that happened, my wife started pushing me to TOEFL, GRE, etc. Her words "Everybody can go, why you can't!" made me think to try for the higher studies in some US University. I purchased a computer, made a passport and took TOEFL. I applied in a couple of Universities. One university gave me admission but no stipend! After a couple of correspondences, the other university gave me graduate assistantship too! Great! But there was still one problem. That was a US visa. I was not sure that I would get a visa because several students were denied their visas at that time. I applied for a visa ns walked to the US embassy for interview. A lady who accepted my application in the embassy, obviously not a visa-issuing officer, asked me, "Why are you going to a US university, not elsewhere?" and my answer was," I have heard that the US universities are imparting the best education in the world". No sooner I finished my sentence than the lady watched my face and directed me towards waiting room. I was so excited to tell something more but I didn't get any chance. I waited for a long time before I got my turn. The person in front of me was just denied his visa. I was scared when the same consular officer called my name. He asked me some questions about my studies and financial conditions. I tried to answer his questions to my best level I could. Finally he said, "Congratulations! Have a nice trip to the USA!" He told me to collect my passport from the next window paying the fee for the visa. Great! That opened up a new journey of my life! That was July of 2004. (September 05, 2007)
PART-23: A Journey to Overseas
My wife and I were busy in preparing the stuffs to be carried to my new home at overseas in the evening of August 12, 2004. Other relatives also joined to us for collecting and packing things. I was excited because I was going to the dreamland of most of the people in the world. On the other hand, my heart was heavy as I was going to be away from my little daughter of three years old, my wife and other relatives. I hardly slept that night. The flight was early the next morning. I could leave my place at any moment as everything was packed and ready.
It was the dawn of August 13, 2004. All my relatives were there in the early morning. I ate some food. My mother-in-law had made a beautiful garland for me. She put "TIKA" on my forehead and the garland around the neck. We took some photographs too. My brother called a taxi. Now was the hardest time of departure. I bade goodbye to my little daughter, wife and all my relatives there and went to the taxi. I found tears rolling down my chicks when I sat in the taxi. Anyway, I had to go so I left for the airport to catch the first flight of RNAC to Bangkok.
It was the first experience to fly in a jet plane. The plane took off, soared up and took a height. I watched the Kathmandu city through the window and bade goodbye. After sometime, we were above the clouds. After three and a half hours, I think, we landed at the Bangkok airport. The transit time there was about 12 hours. It was really boring because there was no chance to come out of the airport. I bought a telephone card and tried to call my wife back home but I could not catch her. Probably she was out of home. As we were five people going to the same destination, we passed time gossiping. We had to catch the Korean Air to Seoul from there. After a long and tiring flight, we reached Seoul the next morning. After a brief transit there, we caught another plane to O'Hare International Airport, Chicago. Most of the time I tried to be awake. I watched the position and the direction of flight of the plane on the screen. The air-hostess brought foods and drinks from time to time. The plane was over the pacific before it entered the sky of Canada. It was morning time. I watched through the window. The land down there was full of forest, ponds and lakes. Finally, the plane landed at the O'Hare international airport, Chicago. The plane made so violent movements while landing that we were really scared. Fortunately, everything went safely.
We came out of the plane and went to the immigration office for clearance. We claimed our baggage. We had to take train at 6:00 P.M. from the Chicago Union Station. We headed towards the union station from the airport by taking a subway train. We were only two people there for the rest of the journey. The other three were to go to a different place. We gained some bitter and some nice experiences in the train station. We had a lot of stuffs in about six suitcases. Once we came out of the subway train, we had to bring those stuffs to the train station. It was really difficult to carry as each suitcase was 40 to 50 kilograms or so except the hand-carry bag. We two were trying to carry up the staircase; a black guy picked up one of our bags and started dragging. We were surprised and told him not to do so. He told me that he saw our problem and wanted to help us. He also assured that he was some security person. A little later, another black guy also joined to us and helped to carry some suitcases. Once we reached within the Union station building, we paid two dollars for one of them. The other guy who helped a lot denied to take anything, took off his hat and said, "Just remember that there was a tall black guy at Chicago train station who helped us" and went away. Within the station building, a person wearing a red cap came to us with his taxi, loaded our things and took to the terminal of our departure. That guy really gave us hard time because he said, "You can not carry such a large amount of weight by train without paying. The limit is 48 pounds per person. If you help me, I can manage." We asked him what he wanted. He replied, "If you want my help, you need to think about me too." We unloaded our stuffs in the waiting room. He kept on coming and talking to other working staffs in the station. We were reluctant to give any money to him beyond the train ticket. But it was time to ride the train. Finally, we decided to give him 20 dollars. Then he talked to the conductor. The conductor signaled us to put our baggage to a small compartment of the train.
We entered the train and sat in the adjacent seats. My friend slept for the whole three hours journey in the train but I couldn't. There were different things swirling in my mind including the behavior of the people in the train station, "People of any kind can be found at any of the places in the world!"
PART-24: Remembering My High School Classmates
During my high school studies, I had my classmates forming a widespectrum in terms of their talents, castes, religions and cultures. I myself was of poetic nature. I used to write poems in SANSKRIT CHHANDAS and I loved reciting such kind of poems. I had also participated in some poetry writing and
reciting contests. one of my friends was also like me. He used to write poems and recite them. He, in fact, was a person of multiple talents like poetry-writing, story-writing, etc. He was equally talent in studies. Another guy used to write modern songs and recite them. He always stood first in song-writing and reciting competition. Another guy was talent but he lost his second position in the class as I secured that position in the final exam of grade-IX. Then he stopped wearing slippers and shoes. He used to come to school bare-footed. I never tried to ask him why he stopped wearing slippers and shoes but some people in the class told me that he would wear some footwears only he could resume his position in the class. Unfortunately he never resumed his position till the Send-up test of grade-X. There were several girls in my class who had talents in singing and doing arts rather than studying the course.
In terms of castes, most of the classmates were from Brahmin, Kshetri and Newar societies and a few from some other castes. Most of the girls were from Newari community. We were mostly Hindus and Buddhists. Since the school was in the place where majority of the people were Newars, we could enjoy a lot of Newari cultures and festivals along with our national festivals. Almost everyday, we could see some kind of JATRAS or some other kinds of processions. Although I studied there for three years and I had a lot of friends from Newari community, I never tried to learn Newari language. Later I felt that I made a mistake because if I had learnt Newari language, I would have one more language for communication in Kathmandu, especially in Kirtipur Campus where some of the professors were from Newari community and they communicated mostly in Newari beyond the classroom activities. Sometimes it was really annoying when they helped my Newari friends in the lab in Newari language and I used to be helpless there.
Anyways, I enjoyed multicultural, multi-religious, multilingual and multiethnic environment in my class during my High School Education. (October 13, 2007)
My wife and I were busy in preparing the stuffs to be carried to my new home at overseas in the evening of August 12, 2004. Other relatives also joined to us for collecting and packing things. I was excited because I was going to the dreamland of most of the people in the world. On the other hand, my heart was heavy as I was going to be away from my little daughter of three years old, my wife and other relatives. I hardly slept that night. The flight was early the next morning. I could leave my place at any moment as everything was packed and ready.
It was the dawn of August 13, 2004. All my relatives were there in the early morning. I ate some food. My mother-in-law had made a beautiful garland for me. She put "TIKA" on my forehead and the garland around the neck. We took some photographs too. My brother called a taxi. Now was the hardest time of departure. I bade goodbye to my little daughter, wife and all my relatives there and went to the taxi. I found tears rolling down my chicks when I sat in the taxi. Anyway, I had to go so I left for the airport to catch the first flight of RNAC to Bangkok.
It was the first experience to fly in a jet plane. The plane took off, soared up and took a height. I watched the Kathmandu city through the window and bade goodbye. After sometime, we were above the clouds. After three and a half hours, I think, we landed at the Bangkok airport. The transit time there was about 12 hours. It was really boring because there was no chance to come out of the airport. I bought a telephone card and tried to call my wife back home but I could not catch her. Probably she was out of home. As we were five people going to the same destination, we passed time gossiping. We had to catch the Korean Air to Seoul from there. After a long and tiring flight, we reached Seoul the next morning. After a brief transit there, we caught another plane to O'Hare International Airport, Chicago. Most of the time I tried to be awake. I watched the position and the direction of flight of the plane on the screen. The air-hostess brought foods and drinks from time to time. The plane was over the pacific before it entered the sky of Canada. It was morning time. I watched through the window. The land down there was full of forest, ponds and lakes. Finally, the plane landed at the O'Hare international airport, Chicago. The plane made so violent movements while landing that we were really scared. Fortunately, everything went safely.
We came out of the plane and went to the immigration office for clearance. We claimed our baggage. We had to take train at 6:00 P.M. from the Chicago Union Station. We headed towards the union station from the airport by taking a subway train. We were only two people there for the rest of the journey. The other three were to go to a different place. We gained some bitter and some nice experiences in the train station. We had a lot of stuffs in about six suitcases. Once we came out of the subway train, we had to bring those stuffs to the train station. It was really difficult to carry as each suitcase was 40 to 50 kilograms or so except the hand-carry bag. We two were trying to carry up the staircase; a black guy picked up one of our bags and started dragging. We were surprised and told him not to do so. He told me that he saw our problem and wanted to help us. He also assured that he was some security person. A little later, another black guy also joined to us and helped to carry some suitcases. Once we reached within the Union station building, we paid two dollars for one of them. The other guy who helped a lot denied to take anything, took off his hat and said, "Just remember that there was a tall black guy at Chicago train station who helped us" and went away. Within the station building, a person wearing a red cap came to us with his taxi, loaded our things and took to the terminal of our departure. That guy really gave us hard time because he said, "You can not carry such a large amount of weight by train without paying. The limit is 48 pounds per person. If you help me, I can manage." We asked him what he wanted. He replied, "If you want my help, you need to think about me too." We unloaded our stuffs in the waiting room. He kept on coming and talking to other working staffs in the station. We were reluctant to give any money to him beyond the train ticket. But it was time to ride the train. Finally, we decided to give him 20 dollars. Then he talked to the conductor. The conductor signaled us to put our baggage to a small compartment of the train.
We entered the train and sat in the adjacent seats. My friend slept for the whole three hours journey in the train but I couldn't. There were different things swirling in my mind including the behavior of the people in the train station, "People of any kind can be found at any of the places in the world!"
PART-24: Remembering My High School Classmates
During my high school studies, I had my classmates forming a widespectrum in terms of their talents, castes, religions and cultures. I myself was of poetic nature. I used to write poems in SANSKRIT CHHANDAS and I loved reciting such kind of poems. I had also participated in some poetry writing and
reciting contests. one of my friends was also like me. He used to write poems and recite them. He, in fact, was a person of multiple talents like poetry-writing, story-writing, etc. He was equally talent in studies. Another guy used to write modern songs and recite them. He always stood first in song-writing and reciting competition. Another guy was talent but he lost his second position in the class as I secured that position in the final exam of grade-IX. Then he stopped wearing slippers and shoes. He used to come to school bare-footed. I never tried to ask him why he stopped wearing slippers and shoes but some people in the class told me that he would wear some footwears only he could resume his position in the class. Unfortunately he never resumed his position till the Send-up test of grade-X. There were several girls in my class who had talents in singing and doing arts rather than studying the course.
In terms of castes, most of the classmates were from Brahmin, Kshetri and Newar societies and a few from some other castes. Most of the girls were from Newari community. We were mostly Hindus and Buddhists. Since the school was in the place where majority of the people were Newars, we could enjoy a lot of Newari cultures and festivals along with our national festivals. Almost everyday, we could see some kind of JATRAS or some other kinds of processions. Although I studied there for three years and I had a lot of friends from Newari community, I never tried to learn Newari language. Later I felt that I made a mistake because if I had learnt Newari language, I would have one more language for communication in Kathmandu, especially in Kirtipur Campus where some of the professors were from Newari community and they communicated mostly in Newari beyond the classroom activities. Sometimes it was really annoying when they helped my Newari friends in the lab in Newari language and I used to be helpless there.
Anyways, I enjoyed multicultural, multi-religious, multilingual and multiethnic environment in my class during my High School Education. (October 13, 2007)
